"My dearest gastronomic adventurers, gather 'round, for I have a tale of epic disappointment to recount—a saga that unfolded within the hallowed walls of Ramore, a restaurant that promised delight but delivered naught but despair. Act I: The Thirsty Wait Picture this: I, parched and weary, entered Ramore with dreams of libations dancing in my mind. Alas, the gods of hydration frowned upon me! Thirty minutes—an eternity—I languished, my throat as arid as the Sahara. The elusive elixir remained elusive, and my patience waned like a melting glacier. Act II: The Fateful Order Summoning courage, I beseeched the server for sustenance. “Bring forth the Steak Wellington!” I declared, my voice echoing through the cavernous dining hall. Ah, the anticipation! The flaky pastry, the succulent beef, the harmonious symphony of flavors—it was to be my pièce de résistance. Act III: The Unthinkable Betrayal And lo, the moment arrived. A silver cloche was unveiled, revealing… a monstrosity. Behold, dear reader, a Yorkshire pudding cradling a slab of steak! The audacity! The sheer culinary heresy! My heart sank like a leaden soufflé. The Steak Wellington, once a beacon of hope, now lay defeated—a mere footnote in the annals of gastronomic tragedy. Act IV: The Staff’s Indifference I raised my voice, demanding answers. “Why, oh why?” I implored. The server, unfazed, shrugged as if rehearsed in the art of disappointment. “Our chef’s whimsy,” they replied, as if whimsy could excuse this abomination. No remorse, no apology—only indifference. Epilogue: A Yelping Despair And so, my friends, I pen this review with a heavy heart. Ramore, you have shattered my culinary dreams. Your service, a labyrinth of delays; your Steak Wellington, a mockery of tradition. I leave you with a single tear, shed for lost potential and misguided puff pastry. In summary: Avoid Ramore like a plague of undercooked calamari. Seek solace elsewhere, where drinks flow freely, and Yorkshire puddings remain in their lane. Fare thee well, Ramore. May your soufflés rise, and your service improve—lest ye be forever etched in the annals of over-the-top disappointment."
